Difficult times before I leave, difficult times ahead

Lucky, keep safe heart gem loaned to me by Chris to take on my travels















Some essentials - Passport, insurance, journal/pen and mp3 player

Sadly Nicola, my stepmother, died Friday 27 August 2010. I managed to be with her when she passed. Dad and Stuart her son, held her hands. This was so difficult to watch. I don't think what has happened will hit me until I return from the Sahara Desert charity trek commencing 4 September. What with rushing around, working long hours, training whenever possible, long sits with my stepmom while she was in St Mary’s Hospice, then moved to Sheldon Care Unit, (which was a period of seven weeks) it hasn't really sunk in! My heart goes out to these two men. Nicola was a loving centre of their lives, as dad and Stuart were for her. They are truly at a loss without her. There have been and continue to remain difficult times ahead.

I'm not sure if I will be here for Nicolas funeral, it may take place when I'm in the Sahara. The funeral date has not been confirmed. Due to dad wanting a Requiem Mass the earliest date available is 13 September, my lovely nans birthday, rest her soul. I have thought long and hard about not going ahead with the trek, cancelling all arrangements to enable me to attend Nicola's funeral, but I know I have to continue with my plans. It also can be said, before Nicola lost all physical and mental abilities, she was pleased I was going away and congratulated me in advance for even signing up for the event. She was excited for me.

Since my divorce in 2002, learning to live as a singleton again, I had promised myself every year I would travel somewhere new abroad and write my “Bucket List.” I've been fortunate to see many wonderful places by cruise with the family and when married, and so far travelled alone to Malta, Goa, Bangalore and Sri Lanka. I also wanted to at least once in my life time participate in a charity event abroad. Not sticking to my "Bucket List ." missing travel abroad for three years, I decided March 2010 to get back on track and kill two birds with one stone to catch up. Hence, the Sahara a new place and for charity this year. Nicola could see I had decided to start to make an extra effort to stop putting things on hold and move forward again. Actually, I'm starting to get upset writing this, the reality creeps in every now and then that I will never see Nicola again and things will not be the same. Oops tears and sitting at work typing this during my break, not good, I must get myself together Quick! Anyway further motivation, when I travel the Sahara she and many other special people will be walking with me in mind and spirit.

Right! so my dining room is upside down, kit everywhere. I have booked Friday off to pack properly and start winding down from work. I've received fantastic support and have many people to thank for various donations and help. From financial to morale support, loan of kit, tips, newspaper article photo, lucky charms, cards and a journal. I remember reading a quote another charity challenger had written "The marathon has changed my life when initially it was about changing other people's." I am recognising and feeling this already.